Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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