One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
