No stitches, just platelets and will power
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
