Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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