It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
