that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
