If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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