i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
