I wanna passion pit in your ass
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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