About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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