: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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