Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
