come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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