if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
