okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize