please come you make the beer taste better
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize