yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My vagina is officially offended.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
