Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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