I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
