Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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