Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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