Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
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But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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