lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
