I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
