I'm so fucking centered right now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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