i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
