His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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