Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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