My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
