i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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