Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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