I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
