mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
