went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
