Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I want to fling myself into the sun
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
