A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
