I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
