its not stalking. its research.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
