Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
third nipple confirmed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
