question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
