we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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