I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
