i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
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In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
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I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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