I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Green mimosas i think yes
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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