is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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