Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
