I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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