i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
