Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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