She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
