I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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