when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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