she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
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Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
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It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
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