Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there's paper in my vomit.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
