I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
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He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
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Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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