been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
