I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
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he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
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I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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