I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
