jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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