After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
