hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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