Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
