wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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