I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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